Think Twice!

I woke up feeling unusually happy,

But my eyesight slightly blur.

Walked towards my study table,

Picking up my books,

I looked at them longingly.

Beautiful prose in untidy handwriting,

Quick illustrations and shabby notes.

Walked back to the window sill,

Sprayed water on my potted plant,

Inhaled the beauty of the world outside.

I turned to the wall beside my window and

Ran my hand over my medal collections.

I ran quickly across the room excited

At the sight of my beautiful wall paintings.

Mesmerized by the beauty, I slowly drifted

Humming the lines of the song playing on my player.

I stared long at the family photo in my wallet,

How much I missed them between the four walls here.

The door suddenly opened and came in my friend,

“Hi Natasha”, I said, but

She shrieked and ran back!

I looked behind me to see what surprised her,

Laying down was a knocked down chair and stool.

I slowly looked up and stood there frozen.

My cold, still body hung from the ceiling above,

Knotted at the neck in my favorite shawl.

I looked at myself, I saw myself.

I leaned towards the mirror and could find me no more!

I quickly tried to jump onto my hanging body,

I hung onto my  legs, desperately trying

To make body and soul one.

Huge marbles ran down my dry throat,

While I frantically tried to get back onto my body.

All in vain ,like holding air in my hands.

The realization I was no more,

Was more than I could take.

And learning that I made the decision

Put on me a thousand ton weight.

Natasha ran in with a dozen other people,

I shouted, screamed and waved histrionically

To anyone who could see me.

But they just ran straight through me..

They discovered my last note

And pulled me down onto the floor.

I begged to the doctor, who felt my pulse

But he looked away and nodded instead.

I couldn't let this happen,

I couldn't let my dreams die

I couldn't leave my loved ones here to cry.

Natasha wept relentlessly,

The crowd made way for two other beings,

Came in my parents, wailing all the way

Bereaved of their only nineteen year old daughter

My heart was being wrung for each tear they shed

I ran out from the room and screamed as loud as I could

The sound waves echoed through the building

Heard only by crows instead.

I couldn't see my soul when I had my body

And now I don’t have my body when I see my soul

Separating them was my decision,

If only I had the seconds to think twice…